MURK AVENUE

Oct 23

REBLOG for Buttery Ass Mondays 

http://theberrics.com/gen-ops/chases-case.html

REBLOG for Buttery Ass Mondays

http://theberrics.com/gen-ops/chases-case.html

Oct 18

Halloween time always gets me in the mood to read up on one of my favorite animals

Halloween time always gets me in the mood to read up on one of my favorite animals

Oct 13

that one time I was on Maury..

that one time I was on Maury..

May 26

Help Me Find This Woman!

I posted this on Craigslist “Missed Connections”. If you have any information on the woman please let me know thank you!

http://ventura.craigslist.org/mis/3829577787.html

-Donovan Strain

Aug 16

He ain’t lion. (used SlowShutter+ for iphone)

He ain’t lion. (used SlowShutter+ for iphone)

Aug 15

LISTEN TO MY WISDOM

LISTEN TO MY WISDOM

May 31

My Philosophy of “Human Nature”

There is a philosophy about life that asks if there is a human nature, is there a set in stone reason to all of our rhyme? Can everything we decide to enjoy and everything we do be predicted due to one single common motive behind everything a human does? I have spent years analyzing the world in front of me, and come to believe not only do we have a “human nature” but it’s actually pretty obvious once you get the ball rolling on how to look at every life situation.

My goal here is to make this the least confusing as possible for you to understand what a human being is, and why we do what we do. I would like to start by explaining why humans are such a different species and how exactly we are so successful. After this my explanation for why we do everything should be an easier concept for you. Homo Sapiens, the human being, is really just an average animal life form as any other creature. We were born here on this planet with no more importance to Earth than any other species. Many say we are the only “intelligent” life here but all animals are intelligent. If our intelligence renders all other species here unintelligent then the human race should be known as a blind animal due to the eyesight of countless animals being so superior to ours and how their eyesight has contributed to many of their success of survival compared to ours, we should be defined as blind. But you know that is not true.

So how are we different and are we the only ones on this planet that excels with the same talent for survival? Our success is from our brains advancement of symbolism. All animals have the ability to use symbolism but our brains have evolved to an almost limitless amount of usage of understanding symbolism. In basic terms, to define. Talking is symbolism, our words and accents don’t really mean anything in universal terms, our words are just noises our species makes and then agreeing these noises are a symbol for something other then the noise itself. Assigning an object a sound, drawing a few lines that we call letters and words to represent another object, and so on is the basics of symbolism. Cats meow, Dogs woof, Rattlesnakes rattle their tale, they are talking, they are sending a message but their abilities in their brains to symbolize only go so far because their species evolution has decided they have been more successful surviving with other means. We as humans were fortunate with the advancement of symbolism and with this we created our “world”.

Killer Whales are the closest to date to our species with this advancement and I will give more on this later. With an advancement of symbolism of our level you can define limitless things, then definitions within definitions and definitions within those. Our first definitions are simple “1+1=2” symbols like “lion pack+you=you die” as most animals on Earth can figure, but with the ability to almost infinitely define things we can deduce, we can figure things out on a more bigger picture putting multiple symbol story lines together to find the answers we want, this is logic. “if lion pack+you=you die….lion pack+fire=they die, then lion pack+you with torch=you survive”. Our success is credited to our brains advancement of symbolism, our species growth and evolution is credited to the educating of our young and peers. If the caveman that found how to conquer walking through a cave that had an ancient cave bear in it by wielding a torch around never educated his peers or young, many many of us would die until another would stumble upon this discovery. Killer Whales have this ability as well. Studies have shown Orcas not only have advanced languages, but multiple languages and accents. Orcas that live off the shores of California have a completely different language and accent from Orcas that live primarily near the Arctic and so on. In some regions Orcas just whistle, some only make clicks, some sing, and others with variations of those. Among building advanced languages to communicate with specific societies in their species they also have their own advanced local education systems. Orcas in the arctic have been observed taking groups of their young on hunt training. The young idly float from a distance and watch the adults swim side by side creating a wave that blows a seal off of a lone iceberg into the waters helpless to them, but they don’t kill it, they allow it to climb back to safety while the whales turn around and knock him off again with another wave, after a few examples the adults step aside and the children Orcas now practice together creating waves knocking this helpless seal off his iceberg, allowing him to save himself every time so they can continue practice for hours. Their logical advancements have come face to face with humans abilities many times and forced us to change the way we do many things due to them being “too smart”. In Alaska fishermen are constantly redesigning ways they work to avoid Killer Whales from stealing all their fish. Soon as they come up with new ways to block them from their harbors and nets the Orcas figure out a loophole in their plan and steal fish again. One Alaskan fisherman by the name of Craig Matkin tried to separate his boats farther apart and taking turns retrieving smaller amounts of fish hoping the Orcas wouldn’t have enough time between boats to steal the small amounts but explained after:

”it worked really well for a while. Then the whales split into two groups. It didn’t even take them an hour to figure it out. They were so thrilled when they figured out what was going on, that we were playing games. They were breaching by the boats.”

Killer Whales success in the ocean is mirroring our own on land. They deliberately teach their young and peers new discoveries for generations, they have their own cultures that differ from region to region, from language to language, they are almost an ancient form of the “human existence”. I have a theory of why we both share this advancement in symbolism and why it is our main credit to success as a species as I have found that both Humans and Killer Whales can and do inhabit every inch of their “world”. Humans can be found basically anywhere on land and Killer Whales are found in every ocean. Unlike most animals that have evolved to be successful due to their surrounding environment from snakes in the desert to fish in the great barrier reef, Humans and Killer Whales success is from not overpowering certain aspects of one ecosystem but from finding the “berries” of each ecosystems “bush”. The power to improvise ones survival no matter what the surroundings. We didn’t gain “intelligence” from some higher power that told us “You are the only ones like this, you are smart, go rule this land”. We just evolved as Killer Whales did, to improvise our existence in any ecosystem we travel to, and to be successful at that you must be able to define more then just 20 different plants and 40 different animals to know which to eat and which will kill you. You must be able to define hundreds of thousands of plants and hundreds of thousands of animals, and weather patterns of multiple climates and so on. This is the reason for our brains to grow the advanced understanding of symbolism.

I will now move onto “Human Nature”. A similarity that I think is not only common in every human’s decisions but in ALL life forms on Earth. Everything that lives has one goal, to survive as a species, but on a more basic level to survive as a being. To Survive! This is the common achievement, the common goal of everything that moves, everything that breathes, everything that beats, everything that grows, to survive. At this moment you may believe that not ALL things you do is based on your strive to stay alive when you think about trivial and mundane things in your life such as listening to the radio or watching a movie. But I assure you in my explanation you will be able to agree on this goal ‘to stay alive’ is the one and only thing underlining everything your brain pushes your existence towards. After you understand this explanation I will move onto how to easily use it to your best interest, how to use this knowledge of how the human mind works as a tool against itself or for itself, to gain access or achieve things you want to have turned your way by others.

They say “not everything is a life or death situation” but in reality, your brain thinks so. To show a basic situation before I go onto the full explanations for everything you do, The only way the person working at McDonalds will hand me a box of fries is if I hand him the right amount of money, or use one of the many loopholes in our exchange i.e. coupon, employee discount, giveaway winner, and so on. There must be a reason for them to hand me fries and their brain must reason that it is the correct reason that is defined for our transaction because if they don’t they lose the “game” of working at McDonalds. Being fired means no money. No money means your survival security is now threatened and we don’t want to have our cushy security of survival threatened by things in our control so we obey the rule of playing the “game” of being the McDonalds employee. If one were to “not give a fuck” and hand fries to anyone walking by, its due to them having a pre-existing understanding of security in their survival with or without the job, like saved money, second job, or staying at home with parents and don’t need to pay for food or shelter. This is just a very basic situation to get you starting on the idea.

I put the word game in quotes earlier because that is all our world we live in is. Playing games. Over tens of thousands of years we as a species found the more organized we are and the more we work together the farther we grow and the longer we survive. This is the building of societies. This is the building of currency. All just groups of human tribes deciding together based on the current shared knowledge of how the world works, how we can live together in a what we believe to be a civil way for all of us to survive. But its all just a game. There is only one real game and that is to survive. All else is secondary games, like Laws and a working Economy. Money isnt real, its “real” in the context of its game. You can not pay a bear to not eat you. If Aliens landed today and offered to share advanced technology and medicine with us, they would never accept cash. Green pieces of paper means nothing of real value to someone outside of the “game”. It is just an organized way we as a local culture of Earth decided to be fairly distributing our REAL goods and things of interest for an overall better chance of survival together. The law is just another game, set in place to deter humans away from acts “unfair” to the majority of the system of our games we play. But in reality, we are an animal that may act in any manner we wish if it provides our survival. And thanks to laws, these means of “wild” behavior now only provide short time survival due to agreed upon consequences to save the long term survival of our species. Society, Money, all our lifestyles are just games we play so we don’t die. Due to our great success as a species from organizing these games to survive we have now buried our original intent in a vast mess of strategic games we play to go about our day in the now 21st century 1st world countries that have generally “promised” our survival among things in our “control”. What I mean by this is, in America if you follow the rules, you should be able to get the money to play the game and achieve food and shelter, the very basics of survival. This shelter and security of our survival, thanks to our advancements of human civilization we don’t feel the immediate threat of survival and are now a “comfy” species.

The “comfy” feel of being a human shading the intent of your underlying decisions for why you do what you do is both good and bad. Its good that our species has become so successful on Earth that we can forget the immediate threat of being eaten alive. But bad in the way that we now are following false fantasies of our culture that are confusing us into wrong paths. Like I said before, our brains need to hear what we want to hear, that we are safe. How do we feel safe when our food and shelter is covered? By being constantly reassured. Being shown, proven or told you’re doing things correctly you then feel successful and will continue that path thinking it will lead to a better survival. In ancient times this was necessary as those who didn’t cook their food properly or fully, got sick and died, and others who wore the correct thickness of hide from an ox they skinned will survive the cold of winter and others freeze. Now with our direct survival out of the “red zone” we continue to follow trends, what is “cool” makes us feel successful to play along. While many can see the correct math past trends, the masses usually follow. This gives us leaders like Kim Kardashian, and lifestyles of the Jersey Shore now being imitated and yearned for by many who just want to feel normal, want to feel like they are “doing it right” and survive. This will always happen for it is the nature of our survival to do so, but educating our peers and youth is how we avoid false trends of survival.

Like I said earlier, everything you do is in direct relation to surviving and thanks to our success our survival now asks for reassurance. This is why we listen to, enjoy and create music. It is just one event where our brain is being told all the information it needs to be reassured. When we watch a movie we connect with a character, or an event, and we hope for its success inside because when it succeeds at the end we feel as if we were apart of that success. Listening to music is the same. You have one instrument playing a rhythm, with a signature timing. You now expect its timing to continue on beat, on rhythm, correctly because with every beat it hits perfectly where it’s supposed to you feel the success of its timing. Now adding multiple instruments all together, you now are seeing something that could be chaos due to multiple humans in separate control of multiple options of sounds from every instrument all playing in sync all playing on time, everything is complimentary and your brain sees an even bigger success and it feels good, you enjoy it. the more advanced the song plays with the timing the more your brain is engaged, from beats dropping and hitting again on the beat you expect, other sounds jumping in and surprising you of their existence in yet still on time with the other sounds, its makes your brain enjoy its success and feel a part of the event. Success=Survival to your mind. This is happiness, just one of the products of feeling ‘success’ in situations.

Every human grew up with their own existence, this existence varies their algorithms of what “success” is. Due to their local education and influences they will see success in a different light than their neighbor. This is where the importance of education comes in, and the importance of self education as well, because the knowledge is out there for everyone on this planet to be success for not just their existence but helpful to the progress of our species and it is up to you to seek it and teach others to learn about the world. In short everyone’s personality and individuality is a product of how their brain feels that human can act in order to survive based on their education of the world they were raised in. How you talk, how courteous you are, how hard you try to grow, its all your own unique understanding of how the world works and no one elses. What is right, what is wrong, it varies over time, but only changed as education of our world advances. It was “okay” to behead people if they believed in “witchcraft”, until education was spread enough to know basic science experiments to advance technology was not “witchcraft” and “magic” but important for our species growth. As what we believe to be understood as okay to do today will seem very harmful to our existence and make us look like complete morons to future generations of this planet. That is if we continue to push the importance of education.

Now before I go over how to use our brains to sort of take advantage of our surroundings and current culture I want to just go over one more time. Our evolution due to us being an animal, like the Orca, that doesn’t overpower one aspect of an ecosystem but one that can improvise with the surroundings of any inch of our exploring territory we must need the ability to define an almost limitless amount of things for our species survival. Our advancement of symbolism allows us to find more success by creating games to keep our survival organized, with a more algebraic and highly logical approach to our understanding of simple survival games we then make discoveries such as the fire or the wheel to achieve the desired answer in the problems we previously had in our existence, like they say necessity is the mother of invention. Tens of thousands of years of these games advancements have given us a world that we live in today where we play games to survive as a mass species such as obeying the law and trying to attain money. We have been playing these advanced games well enough that the majority of our species is now in a comfy feeling of happiness due to seeing our surroundings ,such as the “desired” media and fashion trends as a few examples, that we forget the original intent at the base of every decision, the common answer our brain needs to make every move, to keep the security of our survival in our favor. This understanding of how the human works can be used to your advantage to have better odds of things you desire in your existence to roll your way.

Everyone will give you everything you want, they will hand it to you, if you give their brain an answer it wants to hear. If you want a pizza, people will make the pizza and drive it to your house and hand it to you, if you assure their brain handing you the pizza provides their existence. Handing them sufficient funds makes the sale for the business that hires them like I said earlier in an example now continue to employ them and give their survival the security it wants with money. Or you hold a gun up and rob them, handing you the pizza means they don’t get shot, which is the same decision as handing them money. Both times their brain said “don’t hand them pizza, be fired and risk survival security” or “be shot and killed right here” and the other option was “hand them pizza, stay alive”. Im not telling you to rob people at gun point, I’m just showing you that people do everything you want when given the correct answer to what to do to stay alive. With this you can now try to instead of walk into situations thinking everything in the world is “black and white”, know rules are invented and can, have and will change, and all your opponent or whoever you are going into any exchange of goods, knowledge or convenience and so on with doesn’t actually want what they asked for i.e. money, privilege and so on, they ONLY want to stay alive. So take that one step ahead by looking at their algorithm, or equation for how they as a person or as a businessman or whatever they may be are making their decisions for and find the loophole. Find the bend, find the easiest answer for you to get what you want without having to always give everything asked for in every transaction with others. An example of this that I have done many times is here:

I wanted to shoot free throws and mess around on a basketball court late at night but no public parks around me are lit past a certain hour. My local 24 Hour Fitness has an indoor basketball court available. How do I get access to this court? With a membership. I don’t want to pay for a 12 month commitment of $40 a month or whatever the current fees were just for use of a basketball court on random nights here and there. Knowing the basics of this situation: Money isn’t “real” and standing on the space of land within the walls of their “property” doesn’t actually cost anything, then there is a way for me to be on the basketball court without actually paying money. Now I look at their system from above, businesses always have more than one “right answer” or “password” to get into or given anything you want. Money is a “right answer”, being the son of the owner usually is the “right answer” of access to some places, you have to look at all means they allow access. One is a trial free 7 day membership pass. So I looked into how that trial pass system is set up to work for them and with a quick visit, observing and educating myself face to face with their employees on the means of this membership I then came up with the way that I have been visiting any 24 Hour Fitness I wish anywhere, effortlessly, for free for around 2 years now. Access is granted because I am just telling the employees what they want to hear. The strategy of access for them was simple. Their current means of recruitment is this:

-Hand new member little card to fill out with basic information (name, address, email ect.)

-Then take their photo ID as collateral for their return when their “workout” is finished

-When customer leaves front desk throw away the fill out card because they will be re-attaining their information when they come back in person to retrieve their photo ID. The fill out card seems to be not important in their system, if anything a deterrent to those not serious about getting a membership and don’t want the business to have their information.

-When new member comes back to get photo ID, their ID is now held hostage by a manager that will seat you at a desk and do a short interview to try and get you interested in a full membership. After the 15 minutes of this if you are still not fully interested then they will put your information in the computer as temporary and then hand you your card that will work for 7 days starting at that point.

24 Hour Fitness is the Alaskan fishermen, and I am the Orca, simple observations of this system of how they run their business I now walked into 24 Hour and said “I’m here for my 7 day trial” Filled out a card, and here’s the first trick in this, I arrive 30-45 minutes prior to the managers office closing hour. I then can play basketball for as long as I want, then enjoy sitting in the hot tub and relax, just whatever I want. When I leave I say “i’m here for my ID” and the random night shift worker at the front desk hands it back every time not knowing why my ID was sitting there, and if she knows, it doesn’t matter because the managers aren’t there to sign me up. I now have options after the first time, When its different workers I can start the “first day” process, if its the same people they say “hey….sorry we forgot to sign you up cause we left before you did, so this time when you’re done come up and we will get you in the system this time” they take my ID, I shoot hoops, swim in the pool for a little, talk to chicks in the hot tub, then leave after manager office hours and it starts over. I would only go a few times a week so when I would see the same workers if I goto the same one I just say “well I didn’t get signed up and the next day they wouldn’t let me in without the pass so I just waited until I came thru again and you were here” they start the process over, I just write my name number and address on a card, they throw it away, I shoot hoops, they leave, then I leave on the next shift minutes later. After coming for my ID every time at night I stop to talk with the front desk night shift for a little and let them get to know me a little and feel comfortable with my presence daily, after a week or so of that I then just stopped going thru the filling out the card in the afternoon and would just show up at the 24hr fitness at any hour of the night, say what’s up to one of the many workers I’ve now become friendly with and are used to seeing me there every night and just walk right in, no questions asked. If I am in a city I don’t frequent enough for that to work I still can get in at night by just walking in and say with confidence “here’s my ID, i’m here to fill out the little information card” they reply “for what? for the 7 day trial? you have to do that in the mornings” I respond with “well, I have been coming here for 5 days so far, in the morning and night, they take my ID and tell me to fill out this card then afterwards just hand me my ID back” The worker now is being told the right thing, which is that I seem to know their system well enough that I don’t seem to be lying about the detailed information, and they now know the fault isn’t in me its in whoever the dumbass was working the morning shift that isn’t signing me up and me saying im on day 5 of the 7 makes them want to make the exception for the convenience that i’m almost done with my week and don’t want to make a potential new membership card holder pay for their companies mistakes. Access Granted. There are around 8 or 9 situations a little logic has given me the “right answer” to tell any worker at the front desk of 24 Hour Fitness at any hour to gain access, and has worked without a fault for as I said around 2 years now. One day, as the fishermen of Alaska, 24 Hour Fitness will get wise of this loophole and adjust their system appropriately.

That process might have seem to be a little detailed and long when typed out, but it’s really all just a simple process of saying the right words and appearing confident in them and people will give you anything you want. Some things are harder then others but everything in life is attainable, everything you desire can be yours, anything you want to do can be achieved. You just need to understand the basics of the game you are playing, the underlying answer to all questions, and assure whoever you encounter logically in the “language” they need to hear that they will survive by making the decisions you wish and they will. With the varying difficulties to each situation aside..it’s as simple as that.

This in itself, although I have explained what I believe to be the underlying reason for everything we do, and everything we are as the human species it still doesn’t come close to answering the meaning of life. To Survive, all life wants to do is survive, we can adjust anythings decisions and trends if we assure the life form security of survival, but why? Why does all life want to survive? Nothing else in the universe wants that. Stars burn, grow, collapse, some explode and create other things with the elements that are the byproduct of a star’s explosion like the beginning of life on Earth itself, but these stars don’t have that intent to grow, no intent to be successful. They are a condensed collection of elements, burning at the core from intense gravitational pressure until it runs out of fuel and enters its various death, planets rotate stars not to house life but just because they were caught in the gravitational orbit of the larger mass of the star. But life has some sort of unknown intent. Why are we trying to survive? What can the elements of life foresee in the future of its plan to expand, evolve and survive? And that is a question our minds have the power of finding, but only if we can continue to progress the importance of education amongst each other. And hopefully if we somehow don’t destroy ourselves too soon, we can figure it out before the Killer Whales do.


-Donovan Strain

May 11

My email to ABC’s “Shark Tank”

Dear Shark Tank Investors,

My name is Donovan Strain and I would like to first give you 10 reasons why sleeping on a trampoline is better for you:

1. Cost Less than “normal” beds (economic!)
2. Like jumping on your bed? Nothing is designed better for that then a trampoline
3. Looking for comfort? They’re like hammocks you can’t fall out of
4. They take sex to a new level (it’s like knocking boots in outer space)
5. Very Spacious (ménage á 10 anyone?)
6. Forms exactly to YOUR body…every time!
7. Well Ventilated (stays cool and also drains any spill you have)
8. Due to its woven polypropylene design it’s impossible to get infested with bed bugs
9. Great conversation starter when you bring that “special someone” home
10. With “normal” beds having only 2 sides you have a 50/50 chance of waking up on the wrong side of the bed everyday, while a trampoline circle shape has 360 sides, giving you a 1 in 360 chance of waking up on the wrong side. Averaging only ONCE A YEAR!

Problem? No one makes sheets and blankets that custom fit any trampoline!!
Solution: My brand Tramposheets Bedding will conquer this with a huge line of special sheets/blankets/comforters. We are looking for a $300k investment, to mainly make the product since we don’t actually have a company at the moment.

Hope to hear back soon,
Donovan Strain

P.S. Did you get my last email about my new improved way to so called “kill two birds with one stone”? the Exploding Stones?

May 09

[video]

Apr 27

Got a sick Beats By Dre hookup in Chinatown!

HELP me get on FunnyOrDie.com’s front page!! go here and bump the rating on this..THANKS HOMIES! http://www.funnyordie.com/pictures/c117da34a5/got-a-sick-beats-by-dre-hookup-in-chinatown